My Rose Bush

Dad (I have been told that he has passed on) was a musician with the Chinese opera while Mum served tea at the different gambling dens within the garden city of Singapore. Both were not very educated, Dad because of poverty and Mom, well, she was a girl and typical Asian families in the ole' days just did not think that it was important to educate a girl. Mom's two brothers however were given full education right to college level. One became a successful businessman and the other, a teacher who later also became a businessman upon retirement.
Life, I guess, was hard and I have been told that my three older sisters had barely enough to eat what with Dad's salary partialy going to fund his opium and drinking habits. So, they definitely did not need another mouth to feed. Yet, there was Mom, with me on the way into the world.

Like the typical Asian family, Dad and Mom wanted a son - can't blame them - after three girls, they wanted an heir to carry on the family name. Never mind that they could not afford to feed another child - the family name was more important. How could they have their cake and eat it?

They made a deal with Mom's mother. If the child was a son, they would keep the babe. If the child was another girl, adoption would be the most logical choice. Well, they were denied a son.

Grandmother decided that my uncle's sister-in-law, a recent widow with only sons would be the best person who would appreciate for a girl in the family. Besides this widow was definitely richer, quite well educated and lived in the middle-class suburbs of Kuala Lumpur, Such a match in heaven for the babe.

Not only that, this widow lived in Malaysia, which meant that it was far enough to ensure that the chances of me ever meeting up with Mom and Dad would be minimised. The deal was struck and upon my birth, the papers were legally drawn up and my name changed.

One of my perplexing questions that do visit my mind every now and then is this - if my parents only knew the real reason for my adoption by my foster mother - would they be shocked? If they only knew what I know today, would they have been so quick to hand me over? I think not. But then again, I may be wrong.

If the social welfare officers in Malaysia had known the reason for my adoption, I wonder if they would have so easily supported the adoption and allowed it to be legalised?

I was left in Singapore until my 4th birthday and then snucked out one evening and brought to Kuala Lumpur where I have lived since then. I was kept under the Malaysian Welfare Department's survelliance for two years before my adoption legalised in Singapore was accepted in Malaysia. Unfortunately, in those days, there were no proper interview assessment of potential foster families by welfare officers, unlike today. The controls were simply not there.

So my foster mother was able to "hoodwink" the welfare officers who came, I believe, twice or thrice a year to check on my progress. Each appointment was set from the last visit, so it was easy for my foster mother to arrange her perfect plan.

Hence, each time the welfare officer came, there was little ole' me with my own personal maid and during the entire period of survelliance, my foster mother treated me a lot better than after the period of survelliance.

Still, the abuse was present even then. For you see, the "maid" was a farce. Each time, the maid only appeared a month before the officer was due to come. A smart plan because by the time the officer came, there would be some form of bond between the "maid" and I. After the officer left, the maid left soon after.

How was I looked after? I was really a latch-key kid. When my foster mother worked, I would be locked in the back room of the house with only some biscuits and water for my breakfast and lunch. Everyone else was either in school or with my foster family's paternal grandmother. I was not sent there because my foster family's paternal grandmother did not approve of my adoption.

Looking back, I shudder to think about what would have happened, if there had been a fire in the house. And I thank God for my life because I believe that it was His protection that kept me safe during my latch-key years.

Stay tuned...... I will be back to continue my story.